My Friends

I am not an agreeable person. People cannot tolerate me for more than ten minutes. Women run from me as if I were a ghost. Men leave me after a few interactions.

That’s why I have no friends. Diya and Ranjita are left only because they don’t want to desert a lonely person. But they feel better when I am away. Probably that’s why we have so few family photos.

It was not always like this. I started my life with a huge reservoir of goodwill and many friends. I had friends at home, at school, at work.

But slowly, with my obnoxious behaviour, I started drawing that pool of goodwill, and when the tipping point came, friends started leaving me one after the other. It began with Kingshuk in 2008. One day, he just walked away and never spoke to me again. Then left Paromita, Kumar, Amitabha (CMC), my Jadavpur friends… In twenty years, the process was complete, and I was left with no friends.

Diya sometimes asks, “Dad, why don’t you mix up with people and make new friends?” I don’t have the heart to tell her, “ Beta, people hate me. I cannot make new friends.”

At work, everybody hates me. So whenever I leave a company, people are so relieved. No one has ever asked me back again.

I did not care. I thought that I had my computer, which is enough. But now even computers are getting smart. So when I ask Amazon Alexa in the morning, “Alexa, set an alarm for five minutes.” Comes the grumpy answer, “I set an alarm at 8:43 AM”. But when Ranjita asks the same Alexa (Ranjita has a sweet voice), “Alexa, please set an alarm in five minutes.” Comes the cheery answer in a pleasant tone, “Good morning, Ranjita. I set an alarm at 8:43 AM!”

This is frightening. Even computers are leaving me.

But I still have my books. They are always there at the head of my bed. I can pick up any one of them anytime. They will never mind 🙂